When the Chaos Fades: Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood— When The Chaos Fades

carriesvibess5
Aug 5
4 min read

There was a time when life was non-stop. Three wild kids. Chaos in every room. And barely a moment that was mine.

And truthfully? I loved it.

Being a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a role I stepped into—it became my whole identity. I gave up everything else to raise my babies. And I’d do it all again without hesitation.

I was the one packing the lunches. Wiping the tears. Cheering from the sidelines. Staying up late with sick kids and waking up early to do it all over again.

It was full. It was sacred. It was my greatest joy.

But this isn’t just my story—it’s ours.

Whether you were home full-time or juggling work and motherhood, we all poured ourselves into raising these humans. And now, the house feels different.

My oldest daughter is starting a family of her own. Our first granddaughter is due in October. My middle daughter just bought her first home and will be moving out in a couple of weeks. And my youngest? He graduated high school this year and is working full-time. He’s still home for now, but let’s be honest—it won’t be long.

It’s quieter. And no one tells you how loud the quiet can be.

I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee, realizing… I made it.

But I didn’t expect how disorienting this season would feel. Because when your identity is so rooted in caring for everyone else, it’s jarring when the room empties and no one needs you in quite the same way.

I changed when I became a mom.

I changed again while raising them.

And now, I’m changing once more—figuring out who I am outside of that title.

This season of rediscovering yourself after motherhood can feel confusing— but also full of possibility.

I Started Journaling Again

Not grocery lists or reminders. I mean journaling about what I feel, what I hope for, and what I want from this next chapter.

Some days it’s one sentence. Other days, it’s pages. But it’s helping me reconnect with the version of me I put on hold for years.

I’m Letting Go of What Doesn’t Fit Anymore

Old clothes. Outdated routines. Unrealistic expectations. And honestly? Some friendships too.

Midlife has a way of showing you what no longer aligns. And this time, I’m not forcing anything to stay.

I’m choosing peace over performance. Joy over obligation. Friendships that feel mutual. People who make me feel lighter. And space for new things that feel like me.

I’m Surrounded by the Right Women

I’m lucky to have friends who truly get it. Women who uplift instead of compete. Who actually listen. Who don’t talk over you just to share their own story.

They show up. They root for you. They’re present and real.

And if you don’t have that kind of circle yet? Start by being that kind of woman for yourself. The right ones will find you.

I’m Dreaming Again

This one took a while. I spent so long pouring into everyone else that dreaming for myself felt unfamiliar.

But slowly, I’m letting myself get excited again.

My husband and I are going on more dates. We’re booking flights. Talking about places we always said we’d visit “someday.”

We can eat dinner when we want. Pause. Talk. Breathe. No one interrupting, no one needing a ride somewhere.

We’re rediscovering who we are now that our kids are grown. And honestly? I really like this version of us.

We Did What We Were Meant to Do

Our job was never to keep them in our arms forever. Our job was to prepare them for this moment. To let them grow into the people they were always meant to become.

And now—we get to step back and watch them do it.

We get to cheer them on from the sidelines of adulthood. And yes, it’s emotional. But it’s also one of the greatest honors I’ve ever known.

This quiet? We earned it.

A Few Things Before You Go

If you’re in this empty nest season too, just know you’re not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong just because it feels weird or heavy or kind of amazing all at once.

You can feel lost and proud at the same time. You’re allowed to rediscover yourself on your own terms.

And if you’re looking for simple ways to reconnect with yourself, I linked a couple of my favorite prompted journals at the bottom.

I also share content on social media about hormones, midlife shifts, becoming a grandma, and all the sarcastic, slightly unfiltered life stuff that comes with it.

I’m more active on TikTok, but I’m slowly building my Instagram community too—and I’d love for you to come hang out:

Find me on TikTok

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Journaling helped me get unstuck. Here are two I’ve been using: